Monday, April 28, 2008

Baby frisking.

Oh man.
Having a baby is great and all, but there are some things that the baby books don't teach you.
Like for instance, how do you discipline a two month old baby?
I mean, maybe it sounds harsh, but you need to be able to lay down some rules.
And it is hard to do for a two month old because they have absolutely no respect for rules.
No rules for babies.

Here is what happened:
Truen was feeding the baby, and I was sleeping.
We were all three of us in bed.
Suddenly an eerie silence overtook the room and I realized something was wrong.
The baby was missing!
Where did he go!?

Well, I found him slowly pulling himself across the floor on his way to the hallway.
At first I thought he was a real trooper, he must have wanted to climb back into his bed without disturbing Mom and Dad.
But then I looked into his little shark eyes and I could tell he was up to something.
I picked him up and put him on the changing table where I proceeded to frisk him.
You know what I found?

I found this in one of his many neck folds.
Can you believe that!?
I guess they just grow up so much faster these days.

The best I can tell he was slowly making his way to the end of the hall, where his peepaw Dave was sleeping.
The day before they had gotten into a bit of a yelling match and we had to give them both a time out.
Time Out!

I don't want to believe that he actually intended on causing Dave harm.
I can only hope that he wanted to scare him.
But still, you know, I tried to teach him that this is not the way to resolve your problems.
Like I said, it's hard to reprimand him.
I don't know what the proper procedures are.

So, I called the cops.
Like usual, they were absolutely no help.

I guess I am on my own.


1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:44 PM

    You are CRAZY Mathew! I scrolled down slowly and was not expecting the shiv. I love the way you write.

    Give kisses to Axe and Truen for me.



No dick heads please.