Thursday, September 16, 2010
I don't know dude.
I am so proud to have T have such a great night.
But a selfish part of me is really sad that I wasn't there.
It is hard to find a baby sitter, and I may have only served as a distraction, but dammit!
You have no idea the amount of time, my personal free time, spent talking her down off the ledge.
Hearing her jokes worked and reworked over and over.
You know the pharmacist in Waiting For Guffman that wants so badly to be in the show but isn't.
And he is gushing at intermission about how great Corky is and then he just loses it for a second and screams how badly he wanted to be in the show!!!
That is me, I feel like I want to scream because it is too late, I am not in the show, the show is over, I missed it and I don't know why I let that happen.
I didn't want to distract her with my awesome smile I guess.
I have an argument.
I have it frequently enough that it is hardly even bad.
I mean it is very annoying and angersome, but it doesn't it is so common now that it feels as normal as any other stupid routine that I have.
It is a weird kind of separation anxiety I guess.
I been with this lady for so long, and we had all our adventures together.
Lately though, over the past couple years it was made out to seem like she was some kind of prisoner.
I have feelings, and that claim hurt the feelings I have.
The more that we talked about it the more I realized that there needed to be lines in the sand.
They could be thin, dotted lines, but they needed to exist so's not to smother each other.
It seemed like there was a line in front of the show.
She is a different person out there, away from me.
She needs to let that person out or else they will wither and die.
And I respect that.
It feels like there are these lines in the sand, and only one stick between the two of us.
And I am stickless.