Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Sometimes I feel like I am doing everything right.
I am amazed at my abilities to navigate and juggle and tune in all at the same time.
I'm really cooking with gas!
Also there are times that my body feels like I have another body inside, slowly breaking all of my old body apart.
Stretching and tearing my muscles, pushing apart my joints and slowly cracking my bones, all by about a 1/16th of an inch.
Growing pains is what they are called.
Other times all I can think about is the path I am on.
I think back to how I ended up where I am at right now currently and I think how even though I signed up for a slightly weirder life I wouldn't change a thing since I consider myself to be doing a pretty good job with my decisions so far.
Then there are the truly dark times.
Fortunately for myself and everyone else, I rarely dwell in these times.
But sometimes I can't help but think very bleak thoughts while I am scrubbing my body in the shower, or freezing in the garage, and I think about how messy everything seems and how little control we have and how we are always dying, every single day.
Like I said, these moments are fleeting and rarely stick around.
So don't worry.
And then, very rarely, I am surprised by the small joys in life.
Like seeing my favorite dolly at work.