What's Noise.

I still need a few days to come to terms with the game.
But I can tell you this....

You need to give yourself options.
You need hobbies or something.
You need to see the joy in life, it is not up to life to just provide you happiness, you have to work for it.
There is Joy in work but it really depends on the work.
I would say that if you are able to commit to the task at hand, if you can just find a little joy you are 99 % finished already.
... I mean you are a success no matter what... For TRYING!
But yeah, it is up to us to be happy.

These are again "Things I tell Myself" everyday.

I am having some major Breakthroughs.

I cleaned up the house for my Huz.
She is working really hard.
Things can be grim for her, which in turn makes things feel grim for me.
But this is just a stress I have to deal with sometimes, and it is no different than any other stress that I am faced with in day to day life, but I can't afford to take the easy way out when I am dealing with my family because that would be irresponsible.
I guess I would say that I internalize a lot of things, but that is because I want to understand why these things are causing a problem in the first place.
So that I can understand how to deal with them, duh!

IN THE FUTURE!!!

At work we have a lot of messy situations.
The warehouse is PACKED to the max.
It leaves you very little room to maneuver safely.
But a lot of the clutter is trash.
Old crates!!!
The villain in this scenario is Old Crates.
They clog shit up!
So once in a while we get together and clean out the garbage and clutter, we consolidate the storage and sweep up the loading dock and throw out all the old crates.
At the Dump!

We pack the trucks full of garbage, go to the dump and throw it away.
These giant claws come down and crunch up all the crates and boxes.
Even though there is no really good reason for this to happen, I always am secretly nervous that there will be a body in one of the crates. I don't think I would like that very much.
Mainly because I have a fear of the police, and I am pretty sure I would have to deal with the police if a body turned up in a crate.
Buuuuuutttttttt
It's basically an impossibility because before we load them up, we open them and make sure that they are empty and strip them of any valuable hardware like handles or mending plates.
So I guess if we were to find a body, we'd find it there.
That would be way scarier because it could mean that one of my coworkers was a killer.
Then I slowly turn around...


They're standing right behind me!

Sometimes we throw away a really nice crate, and it makes me sad because you can tell that it is like a nice piece of furniture almost, but no one wants to pay to store it.
So goodbye.

But mainly I am busy thinking about how these things are built, they serve a purpose, and then they are tossed.
They are, and then they are aren't.
If I think about my problems while I empty the truck of old crates and watch them get crushed into tiny broken pieces, I can basically see my problems in those crates getting broken down into tiny pieces that are easy to get rid of.
And maybe instead of a body there would be treasure inside one of these crates.
Well I guess I'd be pretty excited to discover treasure.

Anyways I was thinking how even though I started out just trying to do a nice thing, I quickly realized that I was gaining a lot of personal fulfillment from my efforts. I was seeing into the future and was excited for tomorrow morning because I would know where all my stuff was and I might not feel so rushed when I leave for work...
I know this sounds maybe like common knowledge or something, and maybe you do this already.
It is a good feeling.
You have to find the joy.

Bottom line, You need to go to the dump.
Take all your shit to the dump and toss it.
Even if you don't get a chance to inspect it all, or maybe some of it is just undumpable, it'll at least give you some smaller, more manageable pieces to take home.
And sometimes there is real treasure in your problems.