Slow Rough.

I am bugging out.
Bugging out!
I have to relax and not have anxiety.
Right... Now.
Good.
Glad that's done.

I was getting weird vibes from T this morning.
I feel like most of the time we are open gates but this morning there was something in the way.
So naturally I was ready to get out of the house.
But now I am back from my errand and I am fighting the urge to break down into a sobbing panic all over the place.
That is a bit overstating it, let's just say I am pacing a lot and filling myself with Kringle.

I can't be in 2 places at once.
I am having anxiety about this, I want to be here in NY... I feel scared to leave.
I don't want to interrupt my schedule.
But then, if I were here over the holidays, it would be more of the same stuff, it's not like we would get any help with the Burger which is all we get in Wisconsin.
There is a never ending line of people waiting for us at the airport when we arrive.
I don't even know 3/4 of them.

I want the vacation, but I also want to be painting.
I have to come up with something else to do while I am away.
I will combine the activities of sleeping and eating into one activity.
That should take up my time nicely.

I just hope thaT T isn't giving me more weirdo vibes the whole time we are there.