Communique

How do I say this?

How many different ways do I say this?

I've read the best way to say this is...

Don't confuse the issue mainly. 

In other words stay on point. 

And be brief, for gods sake don't mince words. 

Whatever that is supposed to mean. 

There I go, straying off topic. 

What was I saying?

Right, what I wanted to tell you was...

I mean, I guess I already said it. 

I don't remember when, why would I?

If you remember, why am I even talking then?!

Oh right, also, keep emotion at bay.

Meaning don't make eye contact!

People are like chimps, they smell the fear in the eyes! 

So wear a blindfold.

And call a cab. 

Don't drive blindfolded to a serious talk. 

It'll be hard enough for people to respect your words with the blindfold on. 

See? See how hard this is?

You think this is easy,

Like making a Radiohead album?!

Oh man, it's no wonder you're in this boat. 

Trying to make sense of a mess. 

Who even told you to ask me?

What, THEM?! 

...

Listen. 

You can't listen to them, they're as bad as I am at this stuff. 

How do you think I got into this mess to begin with?

I hope you were taking notes. 

I gotta get back to work. 

This truck can only drive itself for so long.