Friday, July 04, 2014

History Lesson

-Dad, whats the satue of liberty for?
That's how the Pilgrims got here son.
Yes. You know how you like those Power Ranger books? Well, the Statue of liberty was the pilgrim's Zord, it's how they traveled back then.
-I thought they came on boats.
Yep, sure did. Then they had to break those boats down and build their Zord, which they 
modeled after a Pilgrim woman getting out of the shower.
-Why'd they do that?
So that they could start to colonize the New World.
-Then what?
They, with the help of Paul Bunyon took the land away from the Indians and made America.
-Who is Paul Bunyon?
He is Johnny Appleseed's Zord. He comes with a Blue Ox, who is also a Zord.
-Then what happened?
There is very little use for a Zord now a days since most of them wouldn't fit 
in our cars or homes, so they turned it into a statue.
-Why do we have the fireworks?
To appease the Liberty Zord so that she may never again stomp a trail 
of justice through the land, disrupting the peace.

It makes about as much sense as the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.
Happy 4th y'all.

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