well i don't know what to say about this, i can't get the photos to upload so you will have to wait again to see the bruised stump that used to be my foot.
in the mean time let me tell you about the spider i saw this morning. i saw a spider this morning! it wass big! bigger than spiders you find in the city, but smaller than spiders you find in banana groves. it wass brown and it's legs looked like little tiny skinny fingers. i like watching spiders move around but only from a safe distance. i like how theey wave their legs around feeling for stuff. this one wass not furry, but it probably gets furry later in the season. i always want to touch things, even if i am scared of them, i have equal parts fear and curiosity. i jsut let it alone though becausee i pictured myself being startled and falling down or something.
so, anyways, how is that for a story?
how about this one? my mom wrote to me and asked if i wanted to have a lunch date with just me and her? i said of course! i have been waiting for that to happen ever since nathan wass born! isn't that a funny joke? nathan is my younger brother by ten years. i thought it was pretty funny.
we have to talk about my life plan. i don't know what to say about it really. i thought that being alive was about as good as could be expected. i know i got to change some things, but really, how likely is it that after making a plan that things will follow that plan? i know that i made plans before, but they never turn out to be anything close to what i had planned for.
the other morning truen wass writing down her work schedule and mimi asked what she was doing. truen said she wass making a schedule... for her life. and mimi just laughed and said "good luck". i agree completely, how are you supposed to anticipate anything? you can't. or at least i can't. i just wake up and go to my job and then come home and cook dinner and hang out with truen or draw and then go to sleep and then do that again the next day.
some days i go swimming, some days i ride my bike, some days i readd a book, some days i drop a knife on my foot. some days i wake up with a cold, some days i eat something that makes me sick. what am i supposed to do about it? i know that i should give myself something more concrete to hold on to, and i am going to try to do that. really i am.
but i don't have to make myself crazy with it right? there are ways around certain stressful areas right? sure there are. if anyone ccan find them it is me.
glenn called me lazy because i want to make things easy for myself. i was shocked! glenn! we're buddies! you should know i am not lazy! i think he ws just trying to guage my reaction. my reactionwas, like i said, shocked. why does that make me lazy iif i want something to be easy? what wold make me lazy is if i didn't even try to think of a way to accomplish something in the first place. i would be lazy iif i tried to do something and gave up half way through. but to start out small and easy, to me that is just good common sense. find out if you are interested in your idea, and if you are, well build from there. but don't bite off more than you can chew right?
i guess it just feels like i always think i am doing fine, but then i have someone pointing out what might be wrong with what i am doing. i apprecciate opinions, i do. i am jsut always surprised. like i said, how are you supposed to anticipate anything? i don't think you do. i think you just trust your instincts, use common sense and deal with iit when it happens.
be good guys. lvoematthew