Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Two thoughts from my truckin' life.

Have you seen these ads for the new Die Hard movie?
They are on the sides of all the busses.
It is a banner that says "Yippee Ki-Yay Mo..."
The F'ed up thing about this is that as you may or may not know, John McClaine doesn't actually get to say his trademark saying.
The movie is rated PG-13.
No swearing or some shit.
So who cares?
I don't care.
I was stoked about a new adventure set within the DIe Hard Universe.
But, I guess I am more stoked when I first hear about something, and then you spend months, or years, waiting.
And on the internet you can see all this pre production stuff.
And by the time you can see the movie, you have already seen enough in the trailers and promotional garbage, what is the point?
I have a brilliant marketing idea.
If you want to use this, you can.
The idea is that there is NO marketing campaign until maybe a week before the movie, or product is launched.
That way, you don't give the public any time to form brain callouses.
I thought this would be especially effective for video game consoles.
PLUS then you don't have a bunch of people waiting to rip your shit apart because you didn't live up to their expectations.
I want to proclaim that I just coined the term "Brain Callous".
I also want to go ahead and coin the term "Manstration".
This would be for the male that experiences a sudden surge in hormones and bursts into tears uncontrollably.
You know, like the man period.
Like the woman period, without the 'Pons.
I get mine every other month or so, and I am jsut about due, so cut me some slack.
I just also need to ask this, so you know how in every Die Hard John McClaine says his line?
"Yippee Ki-Yay Mother Fucker!" And then he shoots something and it explodes?
Well, Do you think on the days that he is having his adventure he is just waiting and waiting for the right moment to say that?
And do you think that there are times when he WISHES he said it, but the moment passes and he is like "FUCK! I should have said my line!"?
I bet that happens.
I just had an idea for the best ending of Die Hard 5.
Like, he saves the president or some shit and then they shake his hand, but John is really upset because he wasn't aware that he had just killed the last of the bad guys, and... wait for it... HE NEVER GOT TO SAY HIS LINE!
be good guys.

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