Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I don't know about these things.

I am bugging out.
I had such a weird day today.
It was a roller coaster ride of emotions.
A roller coaster truck ride.
Like a big truck on a roller coaster track...

I know!
THAT is why it was so nerve wracking!

Anyways I guess I am getting over it.
I am starting to calm down.
I am trying to calm down at least, and the key to success is baby steps.
That is a little tidbit for you, for free.
Put it in your pocket.

I am trying to get used to this new pecking order at work.
This one guy got fired.
This one other guy just got fed up and quit.
He found a different job making more money.
And then there is yet another guy that was just a dude, and now he is the dude that tells me what to do.
He is now in control of a big chunk of my day.
And now I must adjust to a life change.

It has caused quite a stir.

Then there is my home life which seems almost exactly like my work life.
Firings, quittings, rises to power.

Mainly I am trying to adjust to this new little A-Hole that seemed to have just bursted forth, as if from nowhere.

This guy, you know what he did to me?
He punched me in the throat.
He went straight for the jugular!
Right in front of everyone on the train.
And I had to sit there and take it, like a bitch.
That is what Del would tell me.

This guy, he is realizing all these powers in a huge flurry of energy that is scaring the shit out of me.
Watching it is traumatizing at first, but I am getting better at absorbing the blows.
He is becoming a little boy.
And now he must adjust to a life change.

I could see it in his eyes as he was breaking my windpipe in public.
I recognized it the moment I saw it.
The crazed look of a man, an animal, trying to understand why he is about to do whatever it is he is about to do.
Clawing at branches and waves.
It was a beautiful connection to have with someone.
A beautiful connection violently broken into splinters by a tiny chubby fist.

To be fair he said he was sorry.

Today was today.
Tomorrow is a new day.


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