Monday, January 17, 2011
Things with the boy are going great.
He doesn't always want me around, but I tell myself that this is because he is not used to me being around all the time so he gets angry and confused when I am around too much on account of how awesome I am and like, maybe he misinterprets my normal absence as intentional but really it is because he has no concept of what work is and why I have to do it.
Ideally I will create an environment for myself and my family where we can all try to be avoid certain life traps and try to be around each other as much as possible.
I see proof of this kind of life a lot in this city.
I suppose that is why we are here, doing what we are doing.
I am just trying to do whatever it takes to be a good Father for the boy.
A good guy for T to continue to want around.
Sometimes I have to do things for myself, that only myself wants.
This is important to do so that I have the energy and cognitive capacity to be the best I can be for the other people in my family.
My other raft mates.
Here we are, floating along in the raft.
It can be lazy and it can be hectic, smooth and then rough.
And lately I have been feeling like the current is picking up, and we are coming up to a little bit of a bottle neck.
I mean, the Burger gets bigger, T is opening up and we are all feeling the pressure to pick a path for the raft.
I don't want to choose poorly, but I have to have faith in what we decided a long time ago were our dreams and desires, and we are on the right path even though we can't see around the bend.
I just fight to keep it together in my brain all the time.