Losing It on the Happy Hamster.

I just lost it.
I didn't mean to, but I lost it with Burger and I hate hate, HATE when I do lose it. Especially when I am on a kick of keeping it.
Keeping it is the opposite of losing it, duh.
I am driving the car home from picking out a bunch of books that a friend kindly gave us, and he starts in about how his belly hurts, but he does this when we are driving because he wants to get out of the car. I keep telling him that we will be home in just a minute and don't worry! I can see our street!! But this doesn't work which starts me thinking that he might actually have a belly ache but then he fils all of the tests I have designed to tell if he is legitimately belly aching, or just belly-achin'.
But he won't stop bugging me about every little thing, he doesn't want to do anything that I suggest and I tell him "Look! Of course in a perfect world we would all love to sit around eating candy and treats and having books read to us, but some of us have to drive the effing car."
So then he says that his neck hurts.
Which is weird.
So we get home and go inside and I tell him we have to take his temperature. But he is being super pokey, and very un sick seeming, but still it is better to at least check since we finally bought a thermometer and I have been itching to use it.
But then he starts whining about how he doesn't want to use the thermometer and he won't keep it under his tongue and he is clicking it around against his teeth and he is whimpering, actually whimpering as if I am causing him pain.
Can you believe this!?
I take the thermometer out of his mouth to explain that we need to keep it still and to quit moving and then the thermometer beeps and shuts off and then this is when I lose it.
I go "ARRRRGHHH!" and curse to the heavens and now he is actually whimpering with big giant tears like little water balloons because I am making him put the thermometer back in his mouth and I am acting like a big monster and just feeling like a total jerk.
The thermometer beeps again, and there is no temperature.
I ask him if his neck or belly still hurt and he goes "Nope!" all cheerful, like he had just arrived on the scene and the previous 20 minutes hadn't even happened.
He runs and jumps into bed and asks for some books and I can't help feeling like this is some kind of joke, or test, or some other thing that I don't get and have failed at.

We both have these switches that get flipped all the time.
On/Off, Good/Bad, Smile/Frown
But for Burger, although he can easily get switched into being a total butt with no regard for rules, manners or humanity, he also can get switched into the happiest little hamster running through a field of treats and rainbows.
This is always so nice to see happen because I don't have the switch flipped very often. The happy hamster switch, mine is all covered with dust and cobwebs.
At least that is how it feels, especially today when as soon as the thermometer was out of his mouth, *PFFT!!! Just like that he is happy, singing and stripping down to get warm and cozy in bed.
And I am sitting on the toilet, sweating, hollow eyed with a beeping thermometer in my clenched fist grinding my teeth as he cheerfully demands I read him a book.