Friday, August 25, 2006

rainy days in the grove.

it is definately not summer anymore. it might still be warm once in a while, but it the tourists are trickling away, and the sun goes away sooner each day. the water is cooling down. dang man, how did all this go so quickly? i had so many things that i wanted to tell you guys about, but now i can't remember them. i thinkk it might be that i can't concentrate right now because of the hustling and bustling in this coffee shop. that might be it.
i can tell you this important thing that i learned this summer.
people don't want to hear your stupiid opinions concerning theiir lives. your brother? he doesn't want to hear it. your brother in law? he could care less? your best friend!? nope, not even your best friend.
is this just human nature? or is it masculine, pigheaded, stubborn behavior? i am sure that it is just as relevant to women also, but for my summer, it has been primarily dudes.
but whhy? what makes a person unwilling to admit that you might have a point? how can everyone act ass if this is the first time that these obstacles have been faced, or these emotions have been felt? what makes people think that they are so special?
i suppose one answer to that question would be that the concerned parties are what makes that person special. what i mean is this, the only thing that makes you special is that the people around you treat you like you are. you as an individual don't mean anything to the rest of the world. it sucks to think that, but i believe it is true. if ii were to drive my car off of the anderson dock, if i were to be diagnosed with an incurable disease, if i were to wind up in jail in some other state or country, the only people that would care at all would be my friends and family. no one else. am i wrong? i don't think so, but i could be. perhaps there are thousands or millions of people that i am unaware of that couldn't stand the thought of a world without my presence, but i don't believe that.
i believe that it has been a huge help to me to admit that to myslef. to accept that nobody cares about me except for my friends and family has only made me appreciate those people that much more. and what more is there? what other reason would there be to be alive? who wants to be alone all the time? are you really a rock? are you really an island?
are you really art garfunkel?
it iis so hard to watch someone make the same mistakes tha tyou have made before. my mom always tells me that about my money situation. and i listen to her as best as i can. but it feels like with jim and garrett and nathan, they don't want to hear what i have to say at all, as if i have nothiing to tell them that they don't already know. it is very frustrating.
i at least acknowledge that my mom has a point and that i should get my finances in order. and me not doing that yet has nothing to do with me not respecting her views on my life, but when you are struggling to get things together, you have to prioritize, and i think that is what i am doing.
i don't think that it is in anyone's best interest to act as if there is nothing left for them to learn. to act as if there is no value in what someone is telling them, just because of who is doing the telling. to discount ANY advice is a risky mistake. at least, that is what i think.
well, i have a wet tent floor to take care of. be good.
and listen to your friends and family, they probably know you better that you think.

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