It's Fine. It's Fine.

Dude, are YOU stuck in an airport?
In Detroit of all places?
Are you drinking with my Brother In-Law?
Make sure he takes it easy.

Have you ever yelled at a person on the phone?
Doesn't that feel good?
Sometimes it feels so good right?
To yell at the customer service people that won't help you?
I mean, when all else fails, and they won't service you.
Not when they are obviously trying to help.
Then it feels good to service THEM.
GROOOOSSSSS!

I am going to sit in borders and read a book.
A book I am not going to buy.
lvoematehw

The Navy!

Alright guys, why the anonymous postings?
Come on guys, let's get with it.

This is a good week already, I am riding the wave.
Things are smooth.

In a couple of days I get to swim in the lake.
And I get to burn some logs.
Who's coming with?

Jump on my back, let's go!

lovematthew

When things fall into different directions.

I realized yesterday that many of my T shirts are falling apart.
I am wearing right through them.
The stitching is coming undone.
These are old shirts, and I got a lot of use out of them and it makes me sad to think about them not being wearable anymore.
I should maybe put them away if I want them to stick around much longer, but then what is the purpose of having a shirt you are proud of if it is just in a drawer or closet.
Every couple of days I take it out to look at it.
And I smell it.
I put it back in it's box.
These are not in such bad condition that they can not be worn, and they won't just blow off of me in a strong wind, but I know it is time to start looking for replacements.
It is a very inconvenient time for this to be happening.
I just don't have a lot of time to go find a new collection of T shirts that are the most comfortable T shirts in the world.
And the guy that I got most of these T shirts from isn't even talking to me anymore.
You know what this is like? My T shirt situation?
It is like if you are going to play softball, and most of your team gets sick, or gets maimed.
How do you suddenly replace all those guys?
Just pick them out of the crowd? Out of the stands?
Good luck.

"WHAT!? NOT BEFORE THE BIG GAME! I NEEDED YOU GUYS!"

Last night I had a very amazing thing happen to me.
New York keeps surprising me.
I got the beer can to prove it.
be good guys.
lovematthew

How I beat Shaq.

Oh dude... DUDE!
I am SO good at basketball.
I am, how should I say this?... an AMAZING basketball player.
The main thing is that I am just happy to have found this out before it was too late.
Imagine if I had never realized my true potential at this sport?
This whole time I have been daydreaming of playing in the NFL, and here, right under my nose, is a whole untapped wealth of athletic talent the likes of which has never been seen.
The real question now is; what do I do with this new found gift?
Obviously I will quit my job.
Training is going to have to be my new job, my new FULL TIME job.
Second, I have to find a court where there will be scouts present to witness my proficiencies in dribbling, passing and shooting.
I am the full package.
I am like a less full of myself version of Shaq.
How tall is Shaq?
Well, I have to be at least an inch taller, give or take a foot.
Plus we both love Superman.
What can I say? I am a natural.
What else?...
I know there must be some other things, finer details, that need to be taken care of but I am sure they are nothing too large that I cant have my agent handle them.
I can not wait!
Mainly I am looking forward to my new social status, the millions of dollars in endorsement money, being above the law and lastly, a superman insignia on every possible surface of my extra large MANsion.
That is all, I have to get back to practicing before I stiffen up.
lvoematthew

Sticky elbow, the medical term.

Hey dude.
How are you doing?
One time when I was visiting my Dad he took me to a flea market in Window Rock.
There were lots of food carts with mutton stew and fry bread and corn.
Then there was this little table with an umbrella and a big barrel, like a clear one, and it was full of pink.
Then I realized that it was watermelon.
They kept dumping big frozen chunks of watermelon into this tank and as it thawed, it turned into pink sugar water.
It was delicious.

I would like to rent a car and go to visit my Dad.
He lives in Arizona.
He lived in Wisconsin for a while, and then later in Illinois, then he moved back to Arizona where he grew up.
I wish it wasn't so far away, but I suppose there are further away places to live.
And besides, I understand wanting to be where you are comfortable.
Everyone has to make hard decisions.

I hope you are well, if you see my Dad tell him "Hi" for me.
lovemattehw

Incoming.

I went to a house in the Hamptons.
It was beautiful and there was a whole wall of windows to sit and watch the ocean.
There were surfers in the water.
It was beautiful, like I said.
I had to get up early to go on the trip.
When I got there I had to assemble a crib.
I want to forget about the whole thing, but it is hard.
I try not to get worked up about money and status and social class.
But when you are standing in a house worth more than you will ever make in your entire lifetime...
and it is just the "beach" house...
Dang man!

Anyways, I am back in Brooklyn now and I am just trying to forget about it.

be god, tomorrow is Friday!
lvoemathew

Corn Muffins in the Microwave.

What did one corn muffin say to the other corn muffin when they were in the microwave?
...
"IT'S HOT IN HERE!"

This is a joke that my coworker Manny told me today.
He is from the Dominican Republic.
He likes a singer named Antony Santos.
He hates Yellow Cabs.
We both like falafel.

It is super hot here, like an oven outside.
I am going to go home to WI for a couple of days at the end of July.
I am excited.
I will jump in the lake and build a fire and cook food for my families.
I am so excited.
lovemathew

To the Future!

This is from a fashion show I went to recently.
It was to premiere the new cute things for the year.
Also it was for hilarious things.
Cute and hilarious.

I would like to some day have a dog to be my friend and trust me enough to let me dress it in my t shirts.
That seems like the best kind of relationship, the most rewarding.

Dude II am so tired! I can't even muster the strength to fix the double I's.

I saw this movie about Transformers.
It was alright, it was hard to tell what was going on when the robots were fighting.
And they were a little too shiny, the robots.
But I give it a B.
lovematthew