Friday, July 20, 2007

How I beat Shaq.

Oh dude... DUDE!
I am SO good at basketball.
I am, how should I say this?... an AMAZING basketball player.
The main thing is that I am just happy to have found this out before it was too late.
Imagine if I had never realized my true potential at this sport?
This whole time I have been daydreaming of playing in the NFL, and here, right under my nose, is a whole untapped wealth of athletic talent the likes of which has never been seen.
The real question now is; what do I do with this new found gift?
Obviously I will quit my job.
Training is going to have to be my new job, my new FULL TIME job.
Second, I have to find a court where there will be scouts present to witness my proficiencies in dribbling, passing and shooting.
I am the full package.
I am like a less full of myself version of Shaq.
How tall is Shaq?
Well, I have to be at least an inch taller, give or take a foot.
Plus we both love Superman.
What can I say? I am a natural.
What else?...
I know there must be some other things, finer details, that need to be taken care of but I am sure they are nothing too large that I cant have my agent handle them.
I can not wait!
Mainly I am looking forward to my new social status, the millions of dollars in endorsement money, being above the law and lastly, a superman insignia on every possible surface of my extra large MANsion.
That is all, I have to get back to practicing before I stiffen up.

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No dick heads please.