Friday, August 31, 2007
Do you think you feel how ever old you are?
Are you old? Or do you just think you are old?
I feel very not old.
But I don't feel young.
I feel like I am moving sideways through time, stuck in this weird older, wiser adolescence.
When I was actually young, I mean physically younger, I had some experiences with some adults that gave me this sort of insight into what to expect... some day.
At the time, it was all very negative things, but you know, I feel lucky to have had them there to point out what they saw in me.
Remember when I said that I am not good at planning?
That I have never really had a life plan or goal other than drawing, feeding, dressing and sheltering myself?
They saw that in me right away.
They told me so!
I lacked direction in my life.
Like I was wearing a sign around my neck.
"Where am I going and what am I doing?"
Maybe they saw it in my eyes.
Like how you can sometimes see things in an animal's eyes.
A lost, wandering horse or dolphin or something.
A confused gorilla maybe?
Anyways, I guess I was thinking today while I was on the train that I am getting older in my body.
I can feel that when I wake up.
But in my mind, I still feel way young.
I am still that wandering, lost, confused Hor-illa-phin.
Do you get to have a three day weekend?
I hope you enjoy whatever you can, and say "hi" to your relatives and stuff.