No AC, Not ME!

They say that the heat is heading out our way.
It feels like the heat is already here, so I don't know what They are talking about.
I have been feeling like maybe it'd be a good idea to put in the AC unit I bought a while ago and have only used occasionally since it's purchase even when it was way hotter than it currently is.
But lately I'm like, hot night? Pssh, that's what Ambien is for.
Or whatever the generic knockoff is called that I got.
I'm a bit blurry on the details.
Anywho, I was saying how I got this AC a while ago and how I don't use it. There are a couple of reasons for why it's still in storage currently. One reason is that I can't bring myself to get it out of storage when I know that this heat won't last forever and as soon as it breaks, then I will cease to use the AC and it will just sit in the window taking up valuable open window space. Another reason is that I think that it is a waste of energy, both mine and the kind I pay for, to make my room cooler just so I can cover myself with a blanket and get some Zzzz's. Again, THIS is what the Shmambien is for, but without the blanket.
I can't help but picture plugging in the unit, turning it on, and then the entire eastern seaboard is plunged into darkness as I was the straw that broke the power grid's back. And call me crazy, but it feels like maybe since it is summer, we are supposed to just take it easy and try and deal with what nature gives us.
Ideally, as a society we would adapt new rules and regulations to deal with some of these issues. I would much rather that we worked around nature than forcing nature to deal with us. All this artificial climate control is silly and it forces us to just work through the heat instead of napping and drinking cold beers out of the naturally cool cellars that we adopt in the summers... Like the God's intended.
Strangely I don't feel the same way about heating a home as I do about cooling it off.
I think because of growing up with very cold winters that seemed to stretch over the better part of the year, I guess that did something to my "world view". You can always warm up with a sweater or three, and I like layering because it gives me a false appearance of size and this is important for establishing dominance among the herd. A cold night is a treat when you have a warm blanket to roll into. And also if you are lucky enough to be able to sit by a fireplace, well I don't need to explain to you how that is just about the best thing in the world.
But in the hottest days of summer, I can only get so naked before I have to start peeling away layers of skin.
It's gross and uncomfortable.
And yet it is still not enough to make me pull the AC out of the closet and install it in the window.
Weird.
I suppose this was not the way I felt at the time when I bought the AC.
Obviously I was not in my right mind, and I was heavily pressured by my coworkers that would leave their AC on all day while at work just so that it would be cold when they got home. This was upsetting to no end because honestly, THEY are the reason for blackouts and they are robbing people with an environmental conscience of a cool night's sleep. It's sad because if some people weren't so greedy, we could all benefit the world over.
But whatever, the point is that at the time I bought the thing, I was nesting. The Burger was just a baby and T was still shell shocked from producing the Burger, so I thought it would benefit us all to have a little conditioned air. Plus it was a way for me to get out of work early on account of none of the assholes back at the office were going to question my motives of wanting to provide for my family! At least not to my face anyways.
I remember I was standing in Jay Z's wonderfully chilly apartment, staring out at all the sweaty stacks of pancakes dragging around on the street. A mental image popped into my head of my wife and child uncomfortably, unhappily hot and sweaty, softly weeping... little puffs of dust billowing from their eyes in place of tears, you know on account of all the sweating?
Anyways, I pulled a classic move from the old Kirk Guide to Work... I grabbed a bag of garbage which handily concealed my backpack and I told everyone in the room I was going to "take out the trash" and then I got in the service elevator, placed the garbage bag just outside of it's doors (HA!) and disappeared.
Jigga What!?
Jigga ME!
Peace!

I hung that shit perfect.

Did I tell you that I worked yesterday?
On Saturday?
I had to go to Connecticut for an install job.

I was responsible for hanging a large framed photo, 40 something inches by 90 something inches.
It was heavy and cumbersome.
And after measuring twice, Del and I hung that bitch perfectly!
BLAOW!!!

Then we ate some chicken sandwiches that were provided for us.
Then we left.

I said this before, but things like a perfect install job MAKE my job.
The sense of accomplishment I feel during those moments make my job so enjoyable.

Anyways, all day yesterday, I had a bit of a postnasal drip, and then this morning I woke up with it even worse.
So I made some breakfast, and then walked Truen to the bus.
Then I went and bought a bunch of Kleenex (the lotion kind was on sale!) and then I sweated my way home.
Even in the crisp morning air, I was sweating.

Truen thinks I am working too much, but I disagree.
True, I do work a lot, but I think it is more about the pending birth.
I am trying to get a lot done before the baby arrives (in the mail) and I am maybe working too hard... at life!

Well I wanted to share something with you, the casual blog reader, that I am proud of.
It is a solution I came up with to a problem that was robbing me of sleep.

There is a silver heating pipe right by our bed, and it makes this bumping noise on and off through the night.
I am a light sleeper, and this bump noise wakes me up immediately, and as long as it is bumping, I am awake.
So originally I stuffed a rolled up piece of moving strap between the wall and the pipe, and it worked.
It only worked for an hour or two, and eventually it would loosen and fall out of it's nook, and then the bumping would make up for lost time by bumping louder, like it was gloating.

So then I tied the strap around the pipe, and would simply yank on the strap every time the bumping would start.
This was also successful but it required me to really yank on the strap, and that wold wake me up as much as the bumping would. So I had to come up with something better, something to help in the long term.

What I came up with is a combination of elements that came into my life separately, but were meant to combine forces to become the useful anti bumping system that I created and implemented, saving me from having to suffer through any more "bumpy" nights.

I took a hammer, and a big chink of wood that I brought home off the street and what I did was I put the claw end of the hammer between the pipe and the wall, then I applied force against the handle of the hammer. This pulls the pipe away from the wall, and creates pressure on the pipe, tightening it in it's fittings which is where I think the bumping was coming from in the first place. THEN I simply put the chunk of wood against the handle of the hammer to keep the hammer in place, the pipe tight, and me sleeping!

It is a win win situation, and you better believe I already filed for the needed patents and copyrights.

Well, today is either a very big day for New York Giants, and everyone else that is sick of the Patriots and Tom Brady's robot like eyes, or it is just another boring Super Bowl.

We'll see.
lovematehw