Friday, December 19, 2008

An Idea Realized.

An idea realized.

That is what this is.
That is what I want my life to be.

So far, so good.

There are gifts down stairs, they are mainly for the Burger.
They are all from the grandmas.
Mainly they are.

Do I feel bad about this?
Well, yes and no.
It is a topic of discussion between Del and I.
The subject of money, and it's effect on your life.
Your mind and well being.

When you go into someone's house and there is a huge tree that is seemingly held up by the wrapped presents beneath it.
And when you look around and notice the room is already full of the riches you know you won't ever have in this life time.
These experiences give me a clarity that I couldn't get anywhere else but someone's brand new house in the West Village.
It is like standing in an advertisement.
Soulless and boring and mesmerizing.

It could have just as easily been your house.
Maybe if you had had different parents, or if you had made one single different choice when you were younger.
Then maybe all of this and more could be yours.

I guess the point is that I am broke for Christmas, but not for life.
I can get by, I have been getting by for a long time.
I get occasional help from people that love me, and for this I am grateful.
But for the most part, it is T and I scraping by.
The truth is that this is the life we made for ourselves.
It suits us, and we must enjoy it because we don't really do much to change anything.

So no presents this year.
Not from Mom and Dad.
But don't take it personally son, you just don't know any better right now.
And honestly, you have a Mom and Dad that do everything they can and more for you.
I love you more than my limited vocabulary allows me to express.
And that is all you need right now.
From us anyways.


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