Peace, Love, Happiness and Joy.
Negativity, Sadness, Pain and Anger.
I skimmed a pamphlet once about Meditation and I seem to remember something about the breathing exercises that it recommended.
Finding mantras and all that to help keep your focus on your breath
Focusing on your breath helps.
So anyways, there I was, giving it a go.
And then, it was like a wave, a small wave rolling in over a dirty beach.
The wave wasn't pure, it had bits of garbage and silt in it, but it was cleaner than the beach.
The beach was really dirty.
Like the beaches in the gulf.
You know the ones.
The ones that BP Ruined?
So here I am, sweating in the sun, breathing in and out, and with each breath in here comes the fresh water washing in and with each breath out there goes that water washing bits of nastiness from that beach.
Over and over, for ten minutes.
Ten minutes is a very long time to try and focus on nothing and/or breathing.
You don't think so?
This was all a very big deal for me because until this moment I had never actually been able to turn off my brain like I was doing. Not a total switch off, but, enough of one to be able to tell that I had just accomplished something... new, different.
And then just like that it was over and I opened my eyes and I tried hard not to think about it.
I just wanted to appreciate it for whatever it was.
And I looked at my painting, and I got to work.
I don't know if the words made a difference, but they helped form the image of the clean wave and the dirty beach.
And having a mental image is a Life Tool that helps me out time and again.
And having a Life Tool is just as important as having any other kind of Tool.
Anyways, I hope to eventually get to the point where there are no words.
Kind of like this:
Maybe without the intense music though...
Until then, I will take whatever I can get to get back to that beach.
I got some serious shit to clean up out there.
Love you guys.