a pipe in Lincoln's mouth.

Dude I totally worked today. not for a long time really, or extremely hard for that matter, but still, it was a beautiful day and i was working. i have this job where i ride around in a truck and deliver art work to galleries. it is a sweet job because it has the main ingredient from my favorite job (which was delivering pizzas) and also it allows me to go into galleries that have no interest in my artwork whatsoever. BUT! how about this, I am not impressed with THEM! HA!
I don't know.
on the upside, i have met some nice people, and i have gotten to go all over the city. i can just look out the window and be thankful that i don't live in manhattan, also i am thankful that i am not responsible for driving. i just carry shit. i jjust tie shit down. i just wrap shit.
also the city is not so bad lately. i am happy to have thanksgiving over with. that was not fun leading up to that day. truen and i were snappy. snappy with each other!
then we made up andd went out to dinner for an american thanksgiving dinner at a ukranian restaurant.
tsweet.
lovematthew

forever more.

truen would rather read tabloids than enjoy the granola i bought for us to share.
i said, hey buddy, are you want some of this? and she snaps! snaps I tell you!! she says, "leave me alone... i'll eat at work."
so i ate the granola and stared into the bowl.
i came up with an awesome idea though that will solve all of my money problems with its deliciousness!!
wanna hear about it?
i call it Navajo Tears Granola.
I realized, whiile i cried into my bowl of cereal how delicious the tears were making the granola.
So why not follow the trail of tears to the breakfast table and enjoy a heart, healthy bowl of authentic Navajo Tears Granola!

I swear, I am on to something.

also, i stood next to a 60 thousand dollar painting last night, like, i could have touched it and everything, it was in the back of a moving van.

wierd.
lvoemate

all the things i've got.

I guess this says it all. What I think is odd is that the heart was added AFTER the spray painted words with permanent marker or something. So that means originally it was I DICK. So did they forget to put the heart in when they had the spray cans?
"Oh fuck! I forgot the heart! Gimmee that Marker."
Otherwise it was like a statement, a declaration or something. "I DICK"
I don't know, I just think that it is funny either way.
And true in so many ways I guess.
Lovematehw

a break.

This is another photo thhat I came across when I was looking through older photos.
This is me and my Mom. This was right about a year and a half after she had her surgery. Doesn't she look nice?
It was hard for her at first to have had the surgery, but it is amazing how much more energetic she was afterwards.
Like a new life, a new lease on life.
There is more to say about it I suppose, but it is not anything that needs to be said right now.
I just miss feeling comfortable.
But I think this is one of the best candid photos of me and my mom. There is another photo I have of my mom and nathan, they are standing next to a christmas tree they just picked out. IT is a great picture, everyone is happy and smiling.
Why does it seem so hard to capture thosse moments when everyone is getting along?
It sut makes the times that you DO capture them more special huh?
be good. lvoematthew

the early years.

i was looking through some of my old photos, sort of to see if i could determine the exact moment that led to my current situation. not that any speccific photo exists, but i just wass curious. i mean, you think of any iconic photo and you automatically think "wow, I bet that this is EXACTLY when things changed forever" but you know, I don't think that is true. I am sure that even though there are plenty of iconic photos, there are just as many photos that existed before THAT specific photo was taken and those early photos could possibly be more iconic since they existed first and without them, the "classic" photo couldn't exist. sorry, i am getting off the point of what i was doing looking through the photos on my computer to begin with.
i was looking for a specific photo, my own iconic photo that people might some day look back on and say, "wow, things were never the same from that point on."
I believe that i found that photo:

I think that our expressions both capture exactly how we ended up where we are right now. first off, look how young i look. god damn! what the hell happened? second off, look at how we both look so completely lost and sort of tired. you know how they say that you can never get back sleep that you missed? what a comforting thought when i look at this photo.
i just feel like this was the start, it was when we both were finally used to being together, we had been through three moves, we were on our second apartment together, but the first one that we picked out together. truen had decided to go to school, i had decided to support her in her efforts (baffled by the decision as i was). we had lived with in both of each other's home towns, we had been through her parents fighting, my mom had gastric bypass surgery, and this was all within 1.5 years.
and we never looked back.
until i looked back just now.
thanks for being here with me to experience this.
i love my life, and i love my truen, my wife for life.
m

Dugan Nichols lives on his own.

You know what is good? Doughnuts. Also so is pizza. Lucky for me there are plenty of places to get these things here in New York. It makes me feel safe knowing I can almost go anywhere here and find those two food items on every block of the city.
Today marks the second consecutive day that I have not once had the urge to buy a ticket out of here. I think this is progress. I think that we will be staying for the winnter. We got no where else to go. I don't mean that we couldn't leave, but really the prospects awating us in Racine, Door County, Milwaukee or Madison are not exactly the best. Might as well work a coffee shop job here than go to Wisconsin to do the same job.
Well, I am giong to sleep now, it is tiime to take advantage of the silence.
lovematthew

sick of new york or sick IN new york?

actually both! i woke up yesterday with a slight trickle in the back of my throat, i started to wonder if i was getting sick. of course i am getting sick! i woke up this morning achey and breaky, sniffling and feeling like i had my head fifty feet below the surface.
dang man. but i made myself get up and out of the closet and i walked to a coffee place with truen to draw and sit.
truen has a job interview today. cross your fingers!
ALL OF THEM!!!
i am goiing to eat my cereal now.
be good!
lovematthew