Nice Try.

Change the record, am I right or am I right?
What's a record?
It's like when you can eat 100 hotdogs in 10 minutes.
I can do that.
As long as they're those tiny ones.
Tiny hotdogs, not tiny minutes.
Tiny minutes don't exist yet.
Technology has yet to invent them.
That's not true, they do exist, but the government doesn't want us to know about them.
It would mess up the 40 hour work week.
And it would all be downhill from there.
Because without order, there is chaos.
That's what my son told me this morning.
But he is always trying to gain the upper hand.
I don't blame him though.
You got to get them started young.
I believe that children are our future.
Dude.
Change the record.

The Blues.

There's something about those songs, they depress me.

When I was little I took a trip to the reservation and I got to watch that movie the Jerk, you know that one? It was the only movie they had at the place I was staying, so naturally I committed it to memory.

I have no regrets. 

I even bought that movie on the days after Burger was born because you can't start them early enough as far as comic genius is concerned.

I read that in a parenting book.

One directed at New Dads.

New Dad's that get it, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, there is some Blues on the Radio right now.

It is pretty good stuff, I mean, I am no expert, but I like what I like.

I have an idea, I have a lot of ideas.

I am what is called an "ideas man".

So I got a few of those kicking around in my brain.

Just, you know, gaining steam.

I got a head full of steam.

Steamy Head, it's a medical term that you can Google if you have a minute.

But not at work because it's probably NSFW.

At least, it sounds like it might be NSFW.

You guys got any friends?

What do you do when you think you lost one?

How do you deal with that loss I mean?

Well, let me know, and also since you're bragging about 

all these friends you got, why don't you tell them about

how hilarious I can be once in a while?

Thanks.

lvomatewh

To Be A Dad.

It is of utmost importance to me that I have a solid, open relationship with my son.

I have no other goal in the world, and even if that isn't true, it feels good to have a goal that seems to eclipse all other possible goals in my life. So don't knock it.

I didn't get to grow up really "knowing" my dad. I mean, I knew who he was, and I knew where he lived, and for a while he lived with me, but so many other things that I was too little to understand got in the way of me feeling like I knew who he was as a person.

And looking back, that would have made a big difference... 

Maybe.

But then, did he even know himself?

WHOAHHHH!!! Shyamalan Twist!

Seriously though, he is just a man, just a human being like the rest of us trying to figure it all out.

And sometimes, in the middle of the night, when I am staring at myself in the mirror, illy lit by a bare bulb swinging from it's cord; you know, being truly honest with myself I can tell that the person looking back at me is a total stranger.

Unlike these guys:

The only similarity here is that I too once left a lucrative sheep herding job and handed over my shepherd's crook. Just, without a smile.

I guess the trick is to not worry about it, and if I have a goal of being a part of my son's life, having him know me when he stares deeply into my eyes, then that is a good goal and nothing else matters as far as "son goals" go.

Oh also his safety and health and general well being.

Those things are important as well.

Love you guys.