The first Totem Pole.

What are the things that you like to do?
What are the things you think about when you are alone?

Like if you are stuck in traffic?
Like if you are sitting in a chair, looking out the window?

Once you get past the initial thoughts, what do you do?

Maybe memories?
Or like regrets?
Remember when we talked about those?

There are things that I want to do.
Things that I didn't do when I had the chance.
Things that I never had the chance to do.
Things that, depending on the day, I can feel guilty for thinking.
Guilty in a "what gives me the right" kind of way.

I guess that they are not things that are crucial.

They are just persistent.
Things that don't go away.

I am looking forward to the future, and it feels so foolish.
But I am.
Like the Fall, and the Holidays.
Like the chance to do some of the smaller things on my list.

lovematthew

Us vs. Them

Did you know that the super rich are developing a way to live forever?
It is true!
They are acting as gods on earth and creating a world in which only they can survive.
It is for the good of the land.
It is the only way that humans can continue to exist on this planet.

I read about it somewhere.
I think it was in the "paper".
Or maybe Dugan told me...

I am hoping that somewhere in the development process they
forgot to teach themselves how to make
a latte.

I got to secure my place in the new world order!
Let's face it, my baking skills will be of very little use once the flour runs out.

You guys!
I am just kidding.
I mean can you imagine?
What I really am betting on is that my cellar full of chocolate is enough to buy my family passage to Dubai.
I have already packed the slingshot and a bag of gravel.
Plus we still got the inflatable mats from the tent.
We are basically set.

I will be sad to not have a job here anymore, but it is time to move on.
I am going to work on a super cruise ship.
I am going to wash the "hull" of the ship.
I got a brush!

Maybe I will see you there!
We can be brush buddies.

Brush Brothers.

I hope all is well.
lovmattweh

The chisel tip.

Having a child in your life when there was no child in your life before, that is something that changes your life huh?

I had many people tell me that this is the way it would be once Axel was born.
I never thought that I knew better.
How could I?
I never had no baby!

But he has really gelled into my my life so far.
Like someone poured a bottle of honey on my head.
It is sweet, and also temporarily suffocating and something that never happened to me before.

It is hard for me to see how my life has really changed sometimes.
I see it most clearly when I think about the future.
Because I can't see that.
And so I instead look at what I do have, or how things are now.
Then I see what this little boy really is, and what he means.

But you know, it is like Del says at work "do what you can do."

Moving on.
Do you regret things?
I sometimes do.
That is normal though I suppose.
Part of the "human condition".

Sometimes there are just so many things that you can do though.
And you can't do all of it.
And you don't get second chances for most of it.
You hardly ever get those.
Second chances.

This morning the boy as laying flat on his back, totally straight.
HE is so very long.

lovmathew

Trim.

Remember how hard it rained last Saturday?
I wish it would rain like that some more.
Maybe not as hard.
Or as much.

I got the blues.
I woke up with them, and they will not leave me alone.

The feeling of a heavy stone on my shoulder.
A log I have to pull across the yard.
A pile of screws that I have to sort by length.

Leftovers for dinner.
Brownies for dessert.

lovemahtew

Selling my son to Santa Claus.

Look what I did!
I traded the boy for two ice cream cones!
I lied.
I traded him for ONE ice cream cone.
Then I bought another one to celebrate.

I don't know what his problem was but he was all like "wah. wah!"
And then he was doing that little chirping noise that he knows I can't ignore.
So I was like "See ya!".

I am just kidding.
About the whole thing.
Except for how he was annoying the crap out of me.
Judging by the smell I think he annoyed the crap out of himself.

I am going home to see the family.
I am going to jump off a pier and eat a whole Kringle.
That is all I have planned.
Also I might stock up on a couple pairs of Crocs.
Like maybe some red ones.
You know, for my gang.
So I have something to wear to the meetings.

lovemathew

Oh it is raining some more.

I came over to Truen's shop this morning, and then it started to rain.
So I am trapped right now in the shop with the baby.
It is just like a movie!

Trapped in a boutique with my family while it pours outside and who knows how long it will last?
Do we have enough water?
What about food!?
Damn it!!! I forgot to bring the food!!!
OH NO!!!

Moving on, how are things going?
That's great.
Take care.
lovmatweh

My love for tap.

Oh man it was raining so hard that the backyard is flooded and I had to scream over the noise of the rain pounding the awning.

I asked Truen if she ever saw Amadeus and she said "Is that the one with the trampoline?"

I remember watching that movie with my Mom and Grandpa.
I remember wishing there were more snakes in the movie.
When I was little I was very interested in snakes, and if they were in any way involved with the movie, book or television show
I as currently taken with then there was a good chance I would sit still and be quiet.
If not then I would probably start tap dancing, which was another love of mine.

It is true! I got the scars to prove it.
Just look at my head!!!

One thing that I m scared of is electricity.
I was watching an electrician work on Friday, and it was amazing and scary all at once.
Today, while it was raining so hard, I had to unplug and move the air conditioner because it was letting
water in through the window.
I had to unplug it in the process of moving it
and while I was reaching for the plug I said a little prayer that I NOT be electrocuted.
It must have worked.
The little prayer.

So, you know.
I hope you are well.
lovematthew

Two Blue China Cats.

Oh my lord!

What do you think about celebrities?
I call BS on those assholes.
What a bunch of tools.

A bunch of tools that I have this weird fascination with.
How can I not? How can I ignore them?
They cover the walls and billboards and advertisements.
Walking down the street, waiting for the train, checking my email.
They are always there, staring at me.

And I don't even know what they do that is so important.
They hardly ever entertain me.
Isn't that their job?
What the hell?
Most often their product is sub par at best.
If they had a real job, they would be fired.

They just act as walking advertisements for OTHER products.

Oh well.

Do you know what they don't have in WIsconsin?
Ice cream trucks that sell soft serve ice cream.

Do you know what they have in my neighborhood?
An ice cream truck that parks in front of my house and waits for me to get a cone.
That dude has got me trained!
I can hear that ice cream song from miles away.

I scramble for my shoes and wait out front.

Well, I have to take my family for a walk.
Hopefully I will see my ice cream dude.
He can give me my fix.

Also, I am reading the new David Sedaris book.
HE is an entertainer.

lovemthew

Mini corn dogs = mini attitudes.

Today we went to the dump.
Like, two times!
It is a very interesting place, the dump.
It isn't someplace that I would want to spend my whole day, but it is always nice to check in
and see how it is doing.

It is dusty.
Dusty and noisy.

Have you been outside?
Do you live in New York?
It was super hot the past couple of days.
But today was nice.
Today was productive.
Today was nice and breezy, but warm and also, like I said, it was productive.

Truen made some fruit salad the other day.
It was so good.

I opened the fridge and there was this big bowl of fruit salad and it was the best.

Do you have any younger brothers?
How is that going?
Me and Truen, our brothers are like a difficult mystery.
And not like a mystery with a treasure chest at the end when you solve the mystery.
More like a mystery that just keeps on reminding you that you don't have much in common.
A mystery that doesn't want your input, help or insight.

I don't want no insight neither.
I'll take a prius thank you very much.

Lovemahtew

The things that you would do for dinner.

Oh man it is so muggy.
Do you know what that means?
That means that it is humid and hot and uncomfortable and gross.
It is the worst time to hold a baby .
Especially a naked baby.
Or a baby in only a diaper.

You might as well hug a warm ball of sweaty dough against your chest.
And you are constantly trying to keep the dough in one place.
And it doesn't work.

How are you doing?

I made chicken salad.
I got the recipe from a box of crackers.
I added some grapes to it though and that was NOT in the recipe.

THen I made sandwiches.
We had them with some beer.
A little beer.
IT was cold.
It was delicious.
But it did nothing for the humidity and grossness.

I am still stuck in that.

Does new music suck?
I think that it has to.

lovmahtwe

A great big bushy beard!

It has been a lot of days that all feel like one long, same day.
I can't believe how quickly this week has gone by.
I have not seen any movies.
I have not gone to any place out of the ordinary.

You know how in the movie the guy has the photo and he is slowly fading out of it?

It is like that without the Delorean.

Are you excited for the Batman movie?
I am excited for the Batman movie.

Are you going to WIsconsin?
I am going to Wisconsin.
It is for a chance to show everyone the baby.
It is for everyone to hold the baby, and pass him around.
To get their baby fix.
Like a squirmy, yelling little joint that drools constantly.

I hope you are well.
The state of the world has been scaring me lately.
I hope that you are dealing with it alright.
I think about things too much, and it has got to stop.
lovmeathew