Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Sweet Nectar of Life!!

Moving forward, please let me supply you with a few ideas to make your life easier, or tastier, or "lifeier" because that is really what I am here for, to help you, the casual blog reader. I want to provide the spice of life to thee.


Next time you are in the pharmacy, or grocery store, buy yourself a candy bar or two. Buy some candy, and put it in the pocket of a coat you don't wear that often. Don't have a frivolous coat collection? Not a problem. Try a vest, windbreaker or pair of snow pants. Then do your best to forget about this candy because once you do, you got yourself a real surprise waiting for you the next time you get those snow pants on. Whooboy, you will really appreciate your past self looking out for you like that. Thanks... Me.


Another thing I like to do is reward myself for doing exercise with a cookie. I know this sounds counterproductive, but for me it just goes to fuel a cycle of exercise. Crunches and pushups, then a cookie, and then I know I have to do some more crunches or pushups not only to reward myself, but to prod myself into the next round of exercises. See?! It's genius!!


Don't be stupid. I know that might sound mean, but it isn't meant to be. Just, you know, don't be stupid, because it is easy to do. I often find myself going down a road in my brain and I'll be fairly far along this road, sweating the details, worrying about the unknown, projecting scenarios and I'll have to slam on the brakes and remind myself: Don't be stupid. So much energy can be saved if you just remind yourself to not be stupid, give yourself a break and quit being stupid already. Give yourself credit for being smart enough to make it this far, maneuvering around life's obstacles like a clumsy pro. An easy test I came up with to tell if I am being stupid or not is to ask myself "Could, or would a Stupid Person do this?" Whatever the answer is, my answer to myself is always the same: Don't be stupid.
Then I have a good, short laugh and carry on.

I don't know if these tips will help you out at all.
It's not really up to me to save the Universe.
But if I can help out one person at a time, then I can rest easy.
Even if I only helped someone secretly stash some candy into an underused rain slicker.
Even then.

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