2nd Quarter Surge.

Okay, you got it?

-Uh, yeah.

You sure?

-I think so.

Okay... Hold it okay?

-Heh heh, I don't know...

Kick your legs apart.

No, like this...

*Kick*

Balance it okay?

-Okay, what's balance mean?

We'll talk about it later, just hold the log

-No, this isn't a log, it's a pole.

Alright, hold the pole

-I don't think I got it.

You're good, you're good... Just hold it okay?

-Okay, I think so.

Alright I'm going to run over there and take the picture, n'Kay?

-Okay.

Ready? 

-Yeah.

1,2...

-3!!

Walk Around the Block.

Night walk.

Running up the hill, because I am told to.

There is a demand that I run, so I run.

Get to the top and high fives all around.

Air is crisp.

Clouds over the moon.

Questions:

-who is this guy that I have in my hand?

-where does he live?

-what's that up there by the trees.

Answers:

-I think his name is Walrus Man.

-I think he lives with his parents.

-It looks like a dinosaur.

I'm right! It is a dinosaur.

A Reedy Beedy!!

Now run down the hill!!

I am running.

Watch my step.

Watch his step also.

Someone has to because he sure doesn't.

"Watch where you're going!" I yell.

There is just a long, constant scream as we pound down towards the streetlight.

Now we are done.

Now there is a tiny warm hand gripping my fingers.

There are still clouds out, but they aren't over the moon.

The air feels wonderful in my nose, in my lungs.

There are more questions.

Many of them.

There is no time to answer them all so I don't try.

I pick and choose and think about other things as well as present things.

I don't even think that answers are needed.

They're not the point.

This is just how we do what we do.

I am contemplating some such thing, a question or statement

when all of a sudden there is a smack on my back.

Back Slap!!

And the race to the door is on, crossing the yards of wet grass.

Birds eye sees a man chasing a boy in the night.

Birds ear hears giggling on the crisp wind.

Sweet Nectar of Life!!

Moving forward, please let me supply you with a few ideas to make your life easier, or tastier, or "lifeier" because that is really what I am here for, to help you, the casual blog reader. I want to provide the spice of life to thee.

So...

Next time you are in the pharmacy, or grocery store, buy yourself a candy bar or two. Buy some candy, and put it in the pocket of a coat you don't wear that often. Don't have a frivolous coat collection? Not a problem. Try a vest, windbreaker or pair of snow pants. Then do your best to forget about this candy because once you do, you got yourself a real surprise waiting for you the next time you get those snow pants on. Whooboy, you will really appreciate your past self looking out for you like that. Thanks... Me.

And...

Another thing I like to do is reward myself for doing exercise with a cookie. I know this sounds counterproductive, but for me it just goes to fuel a cycle of exercise. Crunches and pushups, then a cookie, and then I know I have to do some more crunches or pushups not only to reward myself, but to prod myself into the next round of exercises. See?! It's genius!!

Lastly...

Don't be stupid. I know that might sound mean, but it isn't meant to be. Just, you know, don't be stupid, because it is easy to do. I often find myself going down a road in my brain and I'll be fairly far along this road, sweating the details, worrying about the unknown, projecting scenarios and I'll have to slam on the brakes and remind myself: Don't be stupid. So much energy can be saved if you just remind yourself to not be stupid, give yourself a break and quit being stupid already. Give yourself credit for being smart enough to make it this far, maneuvering around life's obstacles like a clumsy pro. An easy test I came up with to tell if I am being stupid or not is to ask myself "Could, or would a Stupid Person do this?" Whatever the answer is, my answer to myself is always the same: Don't be stupid.
Then I have a good, short laugh and carry on.

I don't know if these tips will help you out at all.
It's not really up to me to save the Universe.
But if I can help out one person at a time, then I can rest easy.
Even if I only helped someone secretly stash some candy into an underused rain slicker.
Even then.

There and Back.

Today as I was driving home with Burger in tow, I happened to glance over at a store that we had stopped in a while back, right around when he was born actually, to buy a few plants.
You know, to spruce up the old homestead.
Those plants, they sure didn't last.
Or at least, if they did, they aren't around to water anymore.
So if you happen to have those plants, tell them I said what's up.

I am getting used to this idea of before and after.
Perhaps I won't actually ever get used to it, but I am coming to accept that the idea exists.

It's funny though because if I had been able to see my life now compared to my life then, I probably would still make all the same decisions, because it isn't up to me to do anything differently.
But that doesn't mean I can't, haven't or won't change.
It just means that I am okay with where I am at, because that's the only place you can be.

Where I am at is hard right now.
To be honest with you bro, it is not ideal.
I am sweating it up like a real pro trying to catch the pieces as they fall.
I am like a holy combination of Gregg Jennings, Donald Driver and Jerry Rice all mashed up into one super receiver that's catching everything but some breaks.
But I am not complaining, I am just telling it like it is.
Shit's exhausting though.
That's why those dudes are always so sweaty I guess.

Before I could afford to drop a few because nothing was on the line.
After?
Well, after is still too soon to tell, but I am doing what I can with the hands I was born with.
Which is all any of us could hope for.

Y'all heard of Life 2.0?
Welcome to Life 2.5.

One thing I know for sure.

Triple threat.

Edison Bulbs.

Fwoooosh!

A few years out and this will all seem so distant and weird. 

Know what I'm saying?

Yeah you do.

Perhaps a sound, or smell will bring you back to the moments that really stuck out.

But the things that stick out generally get rounded over with time anyways.

Sounds, smells and the like just become one far gone memory.

You probably won't even know why you are thinking the thoughts you think, in the future I mean.

You'll lose your focus for a second, and probably fuck it up whatever you are currently doing.

Just hope you aren't operating any heavy machinery.

Each day becomes hazier and blurrier as they fall away.

The next thing you know you are at some kitchen table looking at a lasagna, lovingly baked.

A couple of tears form in the corners of your eyes, and you think "how weird".

And then, just like that, you are in a chair maybe looking out a window.

Watching a Father and Son run past your window on their way to the park.

Trying their best to appreciate every single fucking second.

I love you guys.

Crackin' One Open.

Oh man, I don't know where to start or where to begin.
I suppose I would say that patience is key.
Patience is key.
My roomies always want me to think ahead from months to seconds to hours and days and years away.

What are we doing today?
What are you doing later?
Have you thought about summer?
Later can we go on an adventure?

It gets to me after a while and it is the exact opposite of what I am trying to do inside my head which is to just think about right now.
Not right now, that was before, I'm talking about right now that is currently happening.
And it is hard enough to do when you are just by yourself.
That is why people that dedicate themselves to attaining that presence generally live alone, or if they choose to share their quest, they seem to do so in silence.
My situation makes it almost entirely impossible to attain my goal, and it is an exercise in futility to even try.

I try my best to be patient, and it has become a mantra of mine.
Just be patient...
I tell Burger to be patient all the time even though I am pretty sure that it is practically impossible for him to grasp what that actually entails.
That is not really fair to Burger because he can be patient, I have seen him do it, but his tolerance for patience and his shortish attention span don't really make for an ideal zen state.
He is no monk.
Neither am I.
Yet.

So when I am telling him to be patient, it is more for my own benefit than his.
It is to lower my blood pressure and relax my nerves if only for a millisecond.

The frustration sets in when I lose my patience and yell at him.
I was feeling bad about this, and then I had a little breakthrough which was that since he wasn't really listening to my words in the first place then there is no reason to yell at him with actual words so instead I make a big noise and sort of wave my arms around.
What I noticed is that when I do this, then he listens.
If I yell "Don't climb on my legs while I am chopping these vegetables!!" it barely registers.
But if I yell "GRRrrarghhHH!!!" it's like I am speaking his language all of a sudden, and he wants to know what is wrong and how he can help.
It is interesting.
It is also embarrassing because I have started to do this while out in public with him.
Whatever works I guess.

That is the slogan I will use if I ever run for public office.
"Whatever works I guess"

Stay cool bro.

Gimme an A!

Things just pop into your life sometimes and you don't even know where they came from or for how long they will stick around.
That is the story of the hat I strapped onto my son, pictured above.
I had that hat for a couple years before I ever met T.
I honestly have no idea how it has stayed with me all these years, or WHY it has stayed with me.
It has no special box that I keep it in.
There is no mannequin head that proudly displays it.
I just open a closet door and there it is.
It is mildly cool outside, so I put it on the Burger.
Ta-DAH!

But I think about that, how we carry all these things through our lives, and they serve a purpose at some point and we rarely get to decide what that purpose will be. Often it seems that the objects decide.
Use me.....NOW!

It was just a silly prop hat that I got at some point.

Anyways, Burger is 3 now.

The strangest memory that I have about this whole thing being a parent is a conversation I had with in the Baby Truck with Jr.
We were driving back from somewhere, I guess it must have been upstate somewhere, and I already knew that T was pregnant and it was quiet, and I just sort of blurted it out "T is pregnant, I'm going to be a Father."

That was more than three years ago.
And all I wanted at the time was to be where I am right now.
And here I am.
Here we all are.

For Whom The Belt Told.

Have you ever lost sight of your child?
So far I have not had this happen to me, and I am thankful for that.
I know that eventually the 'Burg will escape my attention.
Fortunately for me I even if I closed my eyes I would still not lose track of him since he seems to be enthusiastically screaming from the second his eyes snap open every morning until the second I have to physically shut them for him in the evening.

I suppose if I had to describe the scariest thing to happen so far it would have to be this-



Here I go trying to be nice and get the guy a snack and as soon as I look in the back pack he is scrambling away down the rocks and across the grass, hurtling several large downed branches and leaping onto a passing streets weeper.

The thing that was most awesome about this was that he almost missed the 'Sweeper and kind of dangled for a second or two.
Holding on by only one hand!
I am pretty sure there were sparks.
I was like, WHOAHHHHH!
You know, like in a movie.

lovmahtew