Little Eyes.

Maybe you already saw this guy.

The phone rings and then all of a sudden I have a place to be today.

I have a kit and a lunch to pack.

I have a bike ride ahead of me.

But first! Some chocolate.

Because that is important.

It communicates that you are worth it.

 

You have to keep an open line of communication between 

you and yourself.

 

So if you have not already seen this a million times, 

Might I suggest you give it a looksee?

 

It's not that I am worried about not meeting my funding goal.

What I am worried about is that you will miss out

on being part of a special project.

That would be a heartache.

Besides, there are multiple days left.

And if you grew up watching the Green Bay Packers, you know that overcoming insurmountable odds is just another part of the job when you want to be really awesome at life.

Who could want anything more for themselves?

From Life?

I gotta pack the bike.

I got somewhere to be!!

love you guys.

2nd Quarter Surge.

Okay, you got it?

-Uh, yeah.

You sure?

-I think so.

Okay... Hold it okay?

-Heh heh, I don't know...

Kick your legs apart.

No, like this...

*Kick*

Balance it okay?

-Okay, what's balance mean?

We'll talk about it later, just hold the log

-No, this isn't a log, it's a pole.

Alright, hold the pole

-I don't think I got it.

You're good, you're good... Just hold it okay?

-Okay, I think so.

Alright I'm going to run over there and take the picture, n'Kay?

-Okay.

Ready? 

-Yeah.

1,2...

-3!!

Let Me Ask You Something?

Today was strange and beautiful.

Cold, Sunny, Bright and Long.

I made coffee early and I walked to the store with my mug.

Just took my mug and my time getting there.

Got some onions and chicken.

Went home, filled the crockpot.

I was trying very hard not to be distracted by the smell I would come home to.

But it was harder than I thought.

I could smell it all day, it was an exciting smell.

I told Burger early on, I said:

You better be ready to smell something delicious!

We stopped off in Bushwick on our way home.

I miss it over there, but Greenpoint is nice also.

And who really gives a shit right now?

You are where you are.

But there is a bar over there that has Vegan Empanadas and NFL Ticket.

It was fun! We got our own room to watch the Packers, all to ourselves!

We screamed and pumped our fists and jumped on the tables.

(That is why you shouldn't eat anything off of those tables.)

AA-RON ROD-GERS, CLAP! CLAP!! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!!!

Then we headed home.

Past our buds, and a beautiful park.

And when I opened the door to the Apartment...

I go:

HEEEYY, how does it smell?

And Burger turns to me and goes:

It DOES smell delicious! 

Small victories like that keep me going. 

It's enough to fill my tiny gas can for the next couple days.

love you guys.

Ruuuun Foooor The Hillllssss!

Keep calm.

Don't worry.

Storm's Coming.

Seek Elevation.

Stay calm.

The Man Delivers.

You can not have a better game than Aaron Rodgers had on Sunday.

Sure, some people could, or might, but you? 

No, You can not.

This season is shaping up to be something interesting.

Unexpected and surprising, which is nice.

It is a treat to behold.

Go Pack!

There and Back.

Today as I was driving home with Burger in tow, I happened to glance over at a store that we had stopped in a while back, right around when he was born actually, to buy a few plants.
You know, to spruce up the old homestead.
Those plants, they sure didn't last.
Or at least, if they did, they aren't around to water anymore.
So if you happen to have those plants, tell them I said what's up.

I am getting used to this idea of before and after.
Perhaps I won't actually ever get used to it, but I am coming to accept that the idea exists.

It's funny though because if I had been able to see my life now compared to my life then, I probably would still make all the same decisions, because it isn't up to me to do anything differently.
But that doesn't mean I can't, haven't or won't change.
It just means that I am okay with where I am at, because that's the only place you can be.

Where I am at is hard right now.
To be honest with you bro, it is not ideal.
I am sweating it up like a real pro trying to catch the pieces as they fall.
I am like a holy combination of Gregg Jennings, Donald Driver and Jerry Rice all mashed up into one super receiver that's catching everything but some breaks.
But I am not complaining, I am just telling it like it is.
Shit's exhausting though.
That's why those dudes are always so sweaty I guess.

Before I could afford to drop a few because nothing was on the line.
After?
Well, after is still too soon to tell, but I am doing what I can with the hands I was born with.
Which is all any of us could hope for.

Y'all heard of Life 2.0?
Welcome to Life 2.5.

Cycle Busters.

I got a ticket at the beginning of the summer whilst riding my bike and looking great doing it. The ticket was for running a red light. Cops. Fucking. Cops. So today I went to court because I didn't want to pay the entire fine since I was being fined as if I had been driving a car, but I was in fact riding my bike! DUN-DUN-DUNNNNH! It was all pretty much a big waste of time, and I left feeling powerless and angry and depressed that I didn't raise my voice just a little more than I did, which was not a lot. But I didn't carry my grudge too long afterwards because it was a beautiful day outside and it's basically the end of the summer and I didn't want to ruin it. Instead I made myself some lunch and I worked on some painting and I am only thinking about that ticket right now because I was telling you about it since I didn't want to just start out talking about football and how excited and happy I am that the season is starting. Geez. But am I right? FOOT BALL, FOOT BALL!! I get to watch the opening game in Racine with my Mom and Brother, I think my Aunt Judy will be there as well. I am going to eat brats, and drink Wisconsin Beer and soak it all in while I can because when I get back I got some work to do. Serious work that will require a lot of attention. It's none of your business.

Big Game.

This is it my friends.
The day that many of us has waited for.
This is a big game.
I had to cancel all party activities.
I am in bunker mode.
Well, MOST party activities.
I am so excited.
I can barely stand it.
It will be emotional.
I look forward to my emotional release.
A big pitcher of emotions!
I am losing my marbles.

Those who look inward awaken.

Pack Attack!

I do not know what this headline says, but I like it!
I like the picture they chose, I like Aaron's pose.
You see it in Aaron's eyes that he is a cool and collected dude.
There does not seem to be a frantic look.
He looks in tune with the universal flow, and feeds off of positivity.
He is like a zen master.
A zen master that shoots lasers into the deep territory.
The people's hero.

Let's go Packers!
From the Eastern seaboard, I send my good vibes.
Through the 5th dimensional current that connects all of us Cheesehead Jedis.
GO PACK GO!!!

First Sack of the Season.

Stick it to him guys!

Mule in the road.

Oh man.
What a world.
I mean, what a world.

Man, me and the old lady been buttin' heads.

We are two separate gears trying to work in conjunction of one another.
But lately the teeth ratio has been wrong.
Or there are teeth missing.

We're both like having different views on shit.
But normally we have similar views on shit.
But not lately.

Do you believe that change is possible?
The things that you think you would change about yourself, could you change them?

I am a builder.
I approach problems with the building mind set.

I have a lust for life.

How is your meditating going?

lovmahtew

Spreading Water.

Drawing is a weird thing to do.
I don't know what I expect to happen.
It is always a surprise.

The thing that I forget sometimes is that I live in an area that is saturated with artists.
But when I lived in Milwaukee this was not the case.

Anyways, I have been pretty happy with myself for sticking with it.
I mean through the move and all.

Did you know that I have been away from WIsconsin for almost three years?
I am 11 days away from my 2 year anniversary at my job.
That is the longest consecutive employment in my life since I graduated from high school.

You know, I don't know if I did the right things, but I am pretty happy with the results so far.

I mean, who really gives a shit?
I think that there is something refreshing and sobering about the state of affairs right now.
I think they want to spin it into fear.

Fears that you should have.

And I just don't see it that way.

Nothing is permanent.

You are powerless against the universe.

This is what I tell myself when I think about money.

Quickly name the most recently deceased, wealthiest person.

I am a man of science.

I will be an old man of science.

I am here, for now, and I am happy.

I love you.

Well Lit Domain.

You guys.
I had big plans to purchase a lamp that I had seen a while ago.
It was in the window of a shop.
I thought about it for a little bit, and then I decided that I should buy that lamp.
Maybe you spend money on stuff like that all the time.
Maybe you are a pro.
Maybe your apartment or house is full of tastefully chosen and placed lamps.

I am not like that.
I am more likely to spend my money on a screw gun.
Or maybe even three.
But you know, each one has it's own purpose.
And that is not the point.
The point is the lamp I wanted to buy for my apartment, and the pain and heartache it has since brought me.

What happened was that I finally went into the city to get this lamp, and I find out that
this lamp is all sold out.
Even though there was one in the window.
But that lamp is not for sale.
Or maybe it was, who can even remember if I had the brains to ask.
Instead I got very angry.
I stormed out and it took almost 15 minutes for me to calm down.
And in the process I managed to get into a couple of arguments with T-Dubs while I was at it.

I think maybe I was just disappointed.
Maybe a little embarrassed also.
Like it was the universal flow trying to tell me that I didn't deserve that lamp.
I don't deserve the light it would bring into my home.

But now that I have had some time to think about it, and I am no longer upset about it I like to think that it was the universal flow's way telling me that there are some things I don't want to see.

I hope you are well in your well lit domain.

Intergalactic Space Cabin.

T is putting the Baby Watson to sleep.
It is quiet.
I think he is asleep.

I went and met them at the Laundo after I got home from work.
It is one of the places I sometimes meet up with my family.
Sometimes it is at Mugs.
Sometimes it is in the park.
Lately it has been in the front room.
What I do is when I walk through the door I listen for where they are. Then I start to make a noise like a loud grunt that I heard Gorillas make. And I bang around a lot. I take off my shoes real loud, and I push shit around and clomp up the stairs...

BANG!
BANG!
BANG!

What the one thing that is always the same so far is the look on BW's face when he sees me.
It is usually a look of him searching his memory, trying to recognize me.
But I prepare him by making all that noise usually, so if I meet them at home, he recognizes me quicker.
Today, though, I met them at the laundromat and he didn't get the preparation.

So I poke my head down over the top of his stroller.
He is playing with a purple rattle shaped like a cat and his cheeks are really big with concentration on his toy.

PSSST!

He looks up at me really slow and his eyes get bigger and his cheeks get smaller.
His mouth opens and his jaw just drops open.
He has very long eyelashes.
When he blinks you can feel the breeze created by his eyelashes.
Then it clicks in his brain and he smiles all bashful.
This is when I snap and I start to kiss his little face and eyes and mouth.
I just grunt and sniff and nibble his face off.

Something about seeing that recognition in his eyes just kills me.
We were at the 'mat so I couldn't do what I do at home which is that
I pick him up and fly him around and then I throw him onto the bed and roll him around
and then I rub his belly and move his arms and legs around and try to tickle him and get him to giggle.

This is what I come home to.

lovvemathwe

Breakfast in cemetery.

I put the Burger down for a nap.
Then I made a bench.
Then, as I was routing the piece of wood for the bench,
I had an idea that maybe this was the worst thing
I could be doing because I could hurt myself
with the router. And who would be there to help me?

The Burger? Yeah right!!

So I finished what I was doing and then I vowed to never use the router again.

Ever.

Instead, I made a bowl of cereal and decided to hang out inside.
I only got another 30 minutes though and then he will start yelling for me.
I must be quick with my typing!!

I have to go to the store and get some new socks.
Socks for the family!
Socks for 3!

I also need to get a few groceries as well.
You know, staples and things like that.

What about you?
How are you?
Have you given any thought to walking across the country?
Do you think that it would be something that would be too dangerous to do with a baby?
What if the baby was wearing a helmet?
Also it would be spring.

Well now I have to go and accomplish a few more life goals before the Burger wakes.
SO I will talk to you later.
lvoematthew

Like a breeze in a jug.

Do you know what a booger tastes like?
When was the last time you tasted that taste of a booger?
In the past month I have seen several people picking their nose and eating their boogers.
How can someone be eating boogers and driving a Mercedes at the same time?

Have you ever sucked a booger out of someone's nose?

I totally sucked a booger out of this dude's nose.
He asked me to!!!
With telepathy!!

What could I do?
It had to be done.

It is the Navajo way.
Or at least, that is what I am told.

Anyways, it was not too bad.
It is kind of funny because the noise that the suction makes in the nostril not being sucked on
actually sounds really nice.
Like a breeze in a jug.

This is some kind of weird love, some kind of emotion that I have never felt.
I thought I was in it.
And I am in it, but I am still not very close to it yet.
I still treat it like a new fragile gift that is very heavy and burns my hands.

It is like a baby star made out of crystal.

So far things are still going well, and I am thankful every time I think of his boogers in my mouth.
lovemahtew

The Plunge Cut!!!

Isn't it cute when babies can project their thoughts into existence?
I just get a kick out of it.

For real though, he started to crawl.
I got it on video.
It was hard to do!
He crawls really, really fast!

It is almost more like teleportation now that I think about it.

So I been cutting this chunk of wood in my yard.
I had to try multiple cutting methods.
I think I may have figured out the right way...
IS there a right way to begin with?
I am not sure.

I am happy for Aaron Rodgers, I feel like he was looking forward to getting to play
and it shows while he is on the field.

Brett on the other hand I feel mixed about.
I have to admit that it makes me happy to see him play some more.
But I felt so bad when he threw that interception because he is not in the place that loves him anymore.
Here, they just expect "the legend" of Brett Favre.

I don't know.

Hey! I am going to have a party.
lvoemattthew

Well would you look at that?

Well we seemed to have a good thing going with the sleeping baby.
But then SOME PEOPLE decided that sleeping all night through was fun anymore...
Like a team formed all of a sudden.
The one guy wakes me up by screaming and then the other guy keeps me up by telling me
that the first guy is screaming.

It is a brilliant strategy.

Speaking of those, how sad is it that Sarah Palin is in the news?
She makes me very sad.

The whole presidential race is making me sad.
I feel so teased.
It is like showing me the really good OTHER present I COULD have had
and then giving me some shitty "new" present.

Gee, thanks... Dickhead.

The thing about Sarah Palin is that she is such a shitty present.
She sounds like a shitty person, and her nomination seems like the most shitty and desperate
move that the people in charge could have made.

And the fact that we have lived with such a lousy guy in charge for the past eight years,
our standards are so low that people are actually going to take this woman seriously,
it just seems pathetic.

And it makes me sad.

So what can I do?
I can vote.
But after I do that, I am washing my hands of the whole system and going to
live in the remaining 4% or our natural wilderness...
FOREVER!

lovematthew

Walking still.

Oh my lord.
TGIF!!
YOu know the cookie guy?
The man that mysteriously appeared and left cookies on Fridays?
He got fired!
I mean, he is no longer showing up and leaving me cookies.
So what else could it be?
You tell me!!!

Oh my lord!
Brett Favre?
Does he not look way super older with the Jets helmet on?
I think he does.
And he will never get the love he got in Green Bay.
Not in this hell hole.

People make mistakes, what can I say?
I mean, this is obviously a mistake.
It doesn't mean he will play poorly, or that he deserves to have a losing season.
I am very much excited to see him play again.
But this is just a sad feeling for me.
You know how it is right?
Go Brett!

But really, GO PACK!
No one is bigger than the team.

Oh man, you know things are getting worse right?
In the world?

Russia and Georgia and Iran and China and North Korea...

DO you ever wish that the internet was not an actual thing?
DO you feel like it is ruining things?
Like, music and movies and quality of life?

Well, I think that sometimes.
I think a lot of things.
But only occasionally.

lovmeahtwe

Come bearing gifts.

Oh my god.
Do you ever read the Fontenote blog that I have a link to on my blog?
It is hilarious.
HILARIOUS!!
Insightful also.
They basically predict what is going to happen.
And I love it.

I can't say anything about Brett Favre's Recent decision any better than they can.
SO you should just read their blog instead.

Unless you ant to know what is going on with me.
In which case, don't worry about me.
I am doing alright.
I am better than I was yesterday.

But I am a bit confused over my recent trip to Wisconsin.
How can I go from being comfortable in Brooklyn, enjoying myself even,
to then go visit Wisconsin for 8 days and suddenly be totally homesick
for a place that I thought was behind me... if only for a little bit?

I blame family.
Both of the families.

Also I blame the lake, the quiet, the vastness, the fires, the swimming...

But it is totally an illusion.
I mean, it is fun to be in Door County, and I feel have a soft spot for Racine,
but unless I had something better waiting for me there, a better job, a better home,
it would be all too easy to get the "trapped" feeling that made Truen and I want to
leave in the first place.

I have a lot of things to ponder.

Just like Brett.

lovmehtwe