Right Through Me.

In my fantasy I live in a cabin with my family.
We collect rainwater, have a garden, hunt for mushrooms and we are always mostly naked.
We have successfully unplugged ourselves from the hustle and bustle, and we rarely talk about how our lives once were.
We take care of ourselves and help our neighbors.
We ride our bikes and go swimming in the river.
We make meals together and take time to talk and tell stories.
We are always together at the end of the day.
When we fall asleep it is to the sound of the wind and each other's snores.

I think of my fantasy all the time.
When I close my eyes I can see my beautiful wife and child, standing in the sun.
I can see our cabin and the green that surrounds it.
It is there, always perfect in it's simplicity.

I tell myself that this is why I am doing what I am doing.
This is my ultimate goal.

It is a very graphic and effective motivational tool to have.
And I slowly claw my way towards it every single day.

What is your graphic motivational tool?
How often do you visit your cabin in the woods?

Can you smell the smoke through the trees?

I believe that these types of practices are vital for your sanity and survival.
What about you?

On to a slightly different topic, I have been writing this blog for nearly four years now! I can hardly believe it.
Mama T was reading some older posts today and she was laughing really hard.
It was the kind of laugh that I don't get to hear that often anymore on account of how we have other things to do besides sit around and goof off all the time. And it was so refreshing to hear these sounds on my ears! I felt like if I can make at least one person laugh like that then I must be doing something right.

I made some cookies.
No you can't get none!
lovmatewh

The shift of focus.

How do you know when you have hit a wall?
When you are at the end of your rope?
Sometimes I think about this, in the truck.
Or at the airport.
Or in a billionaire's penthouse.

There must be gradual speeds and distances to these walls.
I think that there must be many different lengths of rope.

The article that my partner for life recommended I read said that you need to try and shift the focus.
When there is a problem, you shift the focus to a different view of the problem, or situation, and it helps you cool off and deal with the life that you chose to live.
So I try and do this now.
I think like the Modern Samurai, and I try to clearly see how to demolish my opponent.

From a stance that is more difficult, I remove the umbrella in a way that is clearly a miracle in nature.

Tomorrow I have to take the Baby Watson to the Dentist to assess the situation.
I think things will be alright, but I still have to go through the process.
In order to accomplish my goal, it will be a day of rewards.

The point is that I will be cooking the food for a long, long time.
I have to shift my focus in order to deal with this cold hard fact.

lovamhtwe

This day of days.

Today was work.
It was extra work.
Extra work for me.

That is another one of my many haikus that I have written.
I am sure there are others.
Help me find them.

I swear that today I was ready to do some vigilante type maneuvers at work.
I was preparing to take matters into my own hands.
I worked with a dude that just seemed to get every single thing wrong today.

I stood in the cold rain.
I stood in the wind.
I cut my hand and was bleeding everywhere.
I hung three framed photographs perfectly.
I lifted and moved three separate crates.
Those crates were very heavy.

And I felt like I did all of these things wearing a jacket stuffed with bricks because of my "co-worker".

There were several times that I considered ditching him.
"HENRY!"
"PUNCH IT!"

And Henry probably would have.
Because he is a good co-worker.
And some things go unspoken between men.

Anyways.
I hope you are well.
I am doing alright.
lvoamthwe

When it all comes crashing down.

Are we just blindly walking into a big trap?

I was wondering that today for most of the day.
I rode my bike around and thought about freedom and shit like that.

I heard from a guy of a friend I saw standing on the street that we mine all the brass for bullet casings and then send them to China for them to make our bullets.

So now you know what I'm thinking.
You know what I am saying.
We are winking at each other now.
Now.

I put up some shelves in the garage.
I did a good job.
I thought I did a good job.
And I did, but I didn't do the right job.
The Right job.
I solved the use of space and I was so pleased with how it was going, I didn't bother to back it up with the actual installation.
And a couple of days ago, a week ago, it all came crashing down into a big mess.
It was so loud.
And it knocked me into a bit of a depression.
But today on most holy president's day, I solved my problems and kicked my ass into gear and I tackled the most difficult task of rebuilding.
And it turned out great!
My new idea.

Talk about a real blessing in disguise.

I had a great weekend.
lvoamtwhr

Intergalactic Space Cabin.

T is putting the Baby Watson to sleep.
It is quiet.
I think he is asleep.

I went and met them at the Laundo after I got home from work.
It is one of the places I sometimes meet up with my family.
Sometimes it is at Mugs.
Sometimes it is in the park.
Lately it has been in the front room.
What I do is when I walk through the door I listen for where they are. Then I start to make a noise like a loud grunt that I heard Gorillas make. And I bang around a lot. I take off my shoes real loud, and I push shit around and clomp up the stairs...

BANG!
BANG!
BANG!

What the one thing that is always the same so far is the look on BW's face when he sees me.
It is usually a look of him searching his memory, trying to recognize me.
But I prepare him by making all that noise usually, so if I meet them at home, he recognizes me quicker.
Today, though, I met them at the laundromat and he didn't get the preparation.

So I poke my head down over the top of his stroller.
He is playing with a purple rattle shaped like a cat and his cheeks are really big with concentration on his toy.

PSSST!

He looks up at me really slow and his eyes get bigger and his cheeks get smaller.
His mouth opens and his jaw just drops open.
He has very long eyelashes.
When he blinks you can feel the breeze created by his eyelashes.
Then it clicks in his brain and he smiles all bashful.
This is when I snap and I start to kiss his little face and eyes and mouth.
I just grunt and sniff and nibble his face off.

Something about seeing that recognition in his eyes just kills me.
We were at the 'mat so I couldn't do what I do at home which is that
I pick him up and fly him around and then I throw him onto the bed and roll him around
and then I rub his belly and move his arms and legs around and try to tickle him and get him to giggle.

This is what I come home to.

lovvemathwe