Static wig.

Things are sweaty.
That is how I would describe most aspects of my life right now, right down to the baby.
All day I am covered in a thin layer of sweat, grime and responsibility that makes life generally uncomfortable.
Then I come home to an avacado-less house and I think
"this is not my beautiful life"
I make the boy his omelette and keep moving I guess.

I must be vigilant.
I must not forget to tend the fire.
But it is a lonely job right now.

lovamtehw

Noises upstairs.

I am killing slugs.
I am torn over this.
I like slugs.
I like to look at them, and I think that they serve a purpose.
But I am also trying to grow tomatoes and squash, and the slugs are eating my plants.
So I go out to the yard at night before bed and I take care of them.
Tonight will be the last night of killing them though.
I am going to start tossing them into the other yard.
I don't think anyone lives there, and it would be easier on my conscience.

How has everyone been doing?
Well I hope.
Well, I hope.

Take care.
lvoathwe

Dads.

Last year everyone forgot about me on Father's Day.
It was alright, Axe was only 3 months old, and T-Dubs is a robot incapable of feeling.
What I mean to say is that I was not surprised.
A funny thing that happened was that I was wished a happy fathers day by a woman on the train, right in front of my "family" and STILL nothing clicked.

T-Dubs-"What did she say?"
Me-Dubs- "have a nice day... or something."

It might have been my own fault, karma for all the times I forgot to call my own Father.
But he didn't even live with us that much, and it is hard for me to remember people exist outside of my immediate sight.

This year we are broke.
Last year we were broke, but this year we are more broke, and so I was not expecting anything.
And nothing is what I got.
What can I do? My son is too small to be making me cards, or macaroni jewelry.
He has no disposable income, like I said, things are tight so anything he would have used to buy me a gift has gone to groceries or diapers.

But I look at the things that he does, or has done in my life, and I feel like these are the true gifts.
He sat with me and we ate our oats on the couch.
He lets me smell his head and kiss his face.
He laughs at my jokes and all of my physical attempts at humor.
I love to put him down to sleep, not because of the break that it provides, but because of the way he just sighs and rolls over and is immediately snoring.
I give him his bath at night and this is, I think, our very favorite ritual.

I just love him so much, and because of this I cut him a lot of slack in the gift giving department.
His healthy presence is my healthy present.
His explosive energy, his goofy chuckle, his little chipped tooth, his chubby hands and long legs.
Every morning, picking him up from his bed.
These are the gifts that keep on giving, like a jelly of the month club.

And who knows, it is still early.
There still may be a walk to the coffee shop in the near future.

Take care.
lovamtewh

Pit.

surreal.
I took this photo in AZ, but here I am uploading it back in NY... From my phone!
Who is responsible for this possibility?
I didn't ask for this, yet here it is.
And all I have to do is use it.
who do you thank?
The collective awareness?

I was in a different state of mind while I was away, I think I mentioned that earlier.
I came to realize that there are things that matter and things that don't and a lot of time, if you aren't paying attention, if you don't take time to consider that there is not only a difference but also a choice in the matter, well you can give yourself a big old headache
trying to sort it all out.

So now I work on mulling.
I am a muller.
I take my time, to protect against headaches.

Lovayem

Cooked and dry inside.

Boy, I tell you what, leaving New York is a strange thing to do when you never do it.
I don't know if this is a typical experience for those that leave the city often, but I felt like it took me almost the entirety of my leave to get used to being gone.
And then I had to come back.
But I felt like the whole trip was like one large gulp of air before diving back under the surface.
One large inhalation and eye opening.

9 days, and then I came back.
But I came back with a clearer vision.
I was gone long enough to be able to see what I came back to.
This is just a city.
It is just a place on the earth, big deal.
There are so many other places that don't give a shit about this city.
And that is refreshing.
I think I might end up being in one of those places.
But first I have to prepare the escape pod.
T-Dubs is on pod duty.

Have you seen T-Dubs around?
Did she leave without me?

I will think more on some other subjects.
I will let you know.
lovamtweh

Racking 'em up.

I am never sure about my punctuation.
Spelling is not so much of an issue because I know how to spell.
I don't even need the spell check.
In fact, if there were a way to turn off spell check forever, I wouldn't even give a shit.
Seriously.
I am so good at spelling that I get phone calls from guys at work asking me how to spell things.
In your face.
Punctuation is another thing entirely.
I am aware of it, but I am not sure of how to use it correctly all of the time.
In fact, if there were a punctuation check, and IT got turned off forever, I would be very sad.
Not as sad as riding my bike to the show store in order to buy some new shoes and then arrive at the store to find it is closed.
That is what happened just now.
So I rode back home, through the Puerto Rican Parade (Puerade?) and all of the young men speeding dangerously around to show off to the girls.
I rode past all of the smells of people grilling meats and other foods.
I rode past all of the brunch crowds squinting at their menus and sweating in the sun.
I made it home and Truen was on the tread mill, glistening and smiling.
She had a party last night, a comic party.
She and her friend made a bunch of new comics, and they had a party to show them all off.
It was nice.
I met several new and very nice people.
I met a woman from Sweden!
And I had a very mind blowing conversation in the yard about the future of the world.
It was a very good evening.
And today has been a very good day, minus the shoe store debacle.
SEE!
You try spelling debacle on the fly.
Anyways, we leave tomorrow for Arizona to see my Dad.
I don't know if I will be able to update while I am away, but I will try.
I do not want to fail you, the faithful blog follower.
I hope all is well,
lovmatewh

Brimstone.

Behold!
Black Metal Caveman.
Superhero of the next generation.
His brute strength beautifully matched by his brute intelligence.

He may rip out your still beating heart.
He may crack two stones together and surprise himself with a spark.

He flies through time and dimensions in his space cave!
Wreaking havoc and accidentally saving the world.

This toy was painted for me by my friend Garth.
Seen below, he has a steady cloud of smoke constantly billowing
from his face at all times.



lvoamthwe

The path of the righteous.

There are times when T Dubs and I do not see eye to eye.
Like when we are standing face to face.
HA!
Good night everybody!

A thing that we often disagree on is home ownership.
She is against it for many very good reasons.
I am for it for many, many BETTER reasons.
Actually we both agree that it would be a total downer to be even more stressed out by money.
I don't mind the upkeep, I enjoy building and maintaining the things that I have built, and although I have no real home construction experience, I am fairly certain that I could do a better job at it than you could.

The main reason that I would like to own a house is mainly due to the current state of the house we are renting.
This place, although an amazingly great place to live in Brooklyn because of the space and money involved, is very poorly kept.
And it drives me crazy.
I want so badly to fix the things that are wrong with it, but I am fairly certain that if I brought it up to the landlord, he would offer to fix it himself and in the process, only make it worse.

So I sit, and I am slapped in the eyes by all of these now glaring mistakes in design, construction and craftsmanship and it is all I can do to make the solemn promise that if I am someday lucky enough to have a dwelling of my own, I will take much better care of it.

In the meantime I I trip over the buckled floors, I am assaulted by the noise of the rain beating down on an ill-placed awning, and I constantly search for at least one true, level ceiling or floor line.

Oh listen to me whine! Who am I kidding!? Aside from the often crippling feeling of debt and despair constantly creeping around the corner, I have got it made.
I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Anything but maybe a house of my own.

lovmatweh

Sealing my own destiny.

It is not always easy to get somethings done on your own.
I mean, to motivate yourself to do something that isn't part of your daily routine.
But when you have a little dude like this waiting for you at home, it is a bit easier to nut up and tackle your task or obstacle.

I took multiple trains this morning.
I passed the stop for work.
I passed the last stop in Brooklyn.
I went to the city.
I busted the cycle wide open.

I don't know that anything will come of it, but the psychological relief that I provided
myself with made it worth it and then some.
A reminder that I am capable, and in control of certain things.

My advice is to buy yourself a doughnut and coffee to reward yourself after your task is complete.
Knowing that reward is waiting for you certainly helps you focus.

I am leaving for Arizona soon.
I hope that it is a cleansing trip.
I am looking forward to a dry heat.

lovamtehw

E for effort.

The process of life.
The shape of life.

I am missing something, and I didn't think that I was.

lovamtwhe

Hip Hop is Dead.

I heard that it was.
I believe this.

A book full of cheese.

I like it when I come home and T has the radio on.
I like the radio.

Today I came home and the radio was on AND there was a meal in the crockpot!
I fell to my knees and sobbed until I vomited.

I am very frustrated at work, but I love everything else.

lovamthew